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Perfectionism, control, Service Dana Rongione Perfectionism, control, Service Dana Rongione

When Good Becomes the Enemy of God’s Best (Repost)

I'll admit it, I'm a perfectionist to my core. My world revolves around precise alignment, immaculate organization, and flawless execution. Spreadsheets must be color-coded, books arranged by genre and height, and every project I tackle must be completed to exacting standards. It's exhausting, really.

Lately, though, the Lord has been gently working with me to differentiate between excellence and perfectionism. Both seem similar on the surface, but their motivations are entirely different, and only one is pleasing to God.

  • Excellence is a spiritual discipline motivated by love for God. It's about giving your best effort, talent, and time because you love God and want to honor Him. It is a form of worship, and it is flexible and adaptable.

  • Perfectionism is a work of the flesh motivated by fear and a desire for control. It's about striving for an impossible, flawless standard to gain approval from others, to control the outcome, and to avoid criticism. It is a form of self-worship, and it is rigid and brittle.

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Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Warfare, Weary Dana Rongione Spiritual Growth, Spiritual Warfare, Weary Dana Rongione

Learning to Unload Before We Overload (Repost)

Life in rural Wales comes with its own peculiar challenges, not the least of which is grocery shopping. When the nearest proper supermarket is a good thirty minutes away, online ordering becomes less of a convenience and more of a necessity. Jason and I have our system down to a science. The delivery arrives in stackable plastic crates, we unload everything, and then return the empty crates to the driver.

We even have our division of labor sorted. Jason tackles the refrigerated and frozen items while I handle the pantry goods. It works seamlessly... well, most of the time.

During our most recent delivery, Jason gestured toward what appeared to be a single crate sitting on our kitchen table. "That's all pantry stuff," he said casually, already turning his attention to the cold goods.

I nodded, reaching for the handles of what I presumed was one solitary crate. I'd taken precisely two steps when physics delivered a painful lesson.

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Grace, Salvation Dana Rongione Grace, Salvation Dana Rongione

Grace Changes Everything

We live in a world of transactions. You work, you get paid. You study, you get good grades. You're nice to people, they're nice to you. Everything is earned. Everything is deserved. Everything is based on what you've accomplished or contributed. So we often bring that same mindset into our relationship with God and assume salvation works the same way.

We think we need to be good enough. We think we need to pray enough, serve enough, believe enough, do enough to earn God's approval. We believe grace is something we receive only after we've proven ourselves worthy. And we spend our entire lives trying to tip the scales in our favor, to do enough good to outweigh the bad, and to make ourselves acceptable to a holy God.

But that's not grace. That's works. And it will exhaust you.

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Loneliness, Lonely, Comfort Dana Rongione Loneliness, Lonely, Comfort Dana Rongione

Smiling on the Outside, Screaming on the Inside

You can be in a room full of people and still feel utterly, devastatingly alone.

I know this because I've been there. Surrounded by voices and laughter, yet feeling invisible. Present at the table, yet somehow on the outside looking in. Smiling and nodding while your heart screams, "Does anyone really see me? Does anyone really know what I'm going through?"

Loneliness is one of those struggles Christians rarely discuss openly. We're supposed to have community, the church, and be surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ who care about us and walk alongside us. And yes, that's beautiful when it happens. But what about when it doesn't? What about when you're sitting in a pew next to dozens of believers and have never felt more alone in your life?

The Christian community has often responded to loneliness with a Band-Aid solution: “Just serve more.”

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Overwhelmed, Stress, Strength, God's goodness, God's faithfulness Dana Rongione Overwhelmed, Stress, Strength, God's goodness, God's faithfulness Dana Rongione

Where Is God When Life Piles On?

When I was a child, my family played a game called "Don't Tip the Waiter." A cardboard waiter, balanced on a swinging base, held a tray over his head. We took turns piling tiny cardboard food tokens onto the tray. The goal was to add one more without sending the whole thing crashing to the floor. There was a pork chop token, a pie token, and I think a very questionable cardboard fish. Someone always groaned, someone always gloated, and someone always had to crawl under the table to find the pie.

It was great fun until recently when I became the waiter. Now, not so much!

For the past couple of months, life has been handing me tokens. Here's an obligation. Have a little sickness. This circumstance is for you, and here's a second helping of the same one. I have watched that tray pile up and thought, Well, this is it. Somebody call the cleanup crew. Yet here I am, still upright.

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