Sometimes life if just SO confusing! In my case, I struggle with making things fit. My schedule is busy and complicated. My health is fair, but it could use some help. I find myself running out of energy long before I run out of time. And joy in the journey? It exists, but right now I have a hard time remembering what it's like. The problem is that I've been so busy living that I've forgotten to just enjoy life.
As Jason held me in his arms last night, I sobbed and exclaimed, "I don't enjoy anything anymore. I feel like everything I do is just another task to check off my to-do list." How sad, yet true. I'm approaching life completely the wrong way. The real problem is that I've become so used to my "routine," it's going to take a lot of work to get me out.
As I lay in bed this morning, praying and asking God to show me the answers, He brought this song to my mind. "The Potter knows the clay, how much pressure it can take, how many times around the wheel until it's submissive to His will. He has a beautiful design, but it will take some fire and time. It's going to be okay, for the Potter knows the clay." What an encouragement! What I am going through is not abnormal or unnatural. It's just some time in the fire, as God is molding me and making me into what He wants me to be. It's going to take time, and my job is to allow myself to be molded. Will it be easy? No, but I can rest in the promise that I won't have to face the fire alone.
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.