Do you ever feel like a rat in a maze, twisting and turning, searching frantically for any indication of which direction you should go? I admit that I felt like that all week last week. While suffering from a sinus infection, I found myself unable to go about my regular tasks. My housework went undone. My writing jobs went uncompleted. My prayer time and Bible reading suffered. By the end of the week, I found myself in a deep state of depression and confusion. Not only did I feel that the entire week had been unproductive, but I found myself perplexed in knowing where to begin to get things caught up.
To be honest, last week was not the only time I've been confused. In fact, I often find myself going in circles trying to determine what project the Lord would have for me to do next. Start on a new book? Do more marketing? Write an e-book? Create some devotional videos? Social networking? Unfortunately, the list goes on and on. There's plenty to do, but I can't do it all at one time, so where do I begin?
I pray for direction, but often it seems like God is silent. In the silence, I determine for myself which option I think would be best (which usually means that I try to determine which task would be the most profitable). The result? More depression and confusion. Crushed dreams. Demolished hopes. Feelings of complete inadequacy. And of course, guilt for taking things into my own hands.
When voices are calling to me from all directions, and I can't make heads or tails of what I'm supposed to do next, I go to my Bible and read Jeremiah 29:11-13: For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
God has a plan for me. Instead of searching so hard for the next step, I would be better off to simply seek Him. At that point, He will make His wishes known and will guide me in the right way.
Confused and weary today? Stop seeking answers, and start seeking God!