Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me. - Psalm 144:1-2
"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him. How I've proved Him o'er and o'er." I stopped singing at that point because it occurred to me that I was lying through my teeth. The fact was, at that moment, I wasn't trusting God at all. I was fretting. I was anxious. I felt overwhelmed and all alone in my torment. I needed help. I needed answers. But more than anything, I needed to learn to trust.
In Psalm 144:2, we find a term of God that is different than any other we have studied because whether we can apply this name is entirely up to us. Every other title we've discussed has been a sure thing. As Christians, God is our strength, refuge, fortress, deliverer, and so on. It's non-negotiable. It really has no bearing on what we do or don't do. Obviously, it's up to us whether or not we plug into the power source that is God, but whether we do or not, God is still all of these things and more.
However, the phrase "he in whom I trust" is only applicable if we truly have faith in God. If the psalmist had said that God was "he who is trustworthy," that would be a different story, for God is trustworthy regardless of our faith. But the psalmist was very specific and insisted this title be more personal than all the rest. So, while God is certainly trustworthy and has proven His faithfulness time and again, whether He is "he in whom I trust" depends on me. After all, there's no getting around that personal pronoun "I." It's not about "he whom others have trusted," nor is it about "he whom I should trust." So the real question is, do I trust God?
I wish I could answer with a resounding "yes," but my actions and emotions indicate the opposite. I wouldn't allow my worries to keep me up at night if I really trusted God. I wouldn't fret over how to pay the bills or how to fit 20 hours worth of work into a 24-hour period. I wouldn't spend so much time and energy feeling overwhelmed and uneasy. I would be happier and more at peace. So, do I trust God? Evidently not, but that's not to say I don't want to.
How about you? Is this title of God one that you can apply to your life? Can you say, without a doubt, that God is "he in whom you trust"? It's entirely up to you.
As for me, I may not be able to honestly sing, "Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him," but I can and will continue to pray, "Oh, for grace to trust Him more."