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Loneliness, Lonely, Comfort Dana Rongione Loneliness, Lonely, Comfort Dana Rongione

Smiling on the Outside, Screaming on the Inside

You can be in a room full of people and still feel utterly, devastatingly alone.

I know this because I've been there. Surrounded by voices and laughter, yet feeling invisible. Present at the table, yet somehow on the outside looking in. Smiling and nodding while your heart screams, "Does anyone really see me? Does anyone really know what I'm going through?"

Loneliness is one of those struggles Christians rarely discuss openly. We're supposed to have community, the church, and be surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ who care about us and walk alongside us. And yes, that's beautiful when it happens. But what about when it doesn't? What about when you're sitting in a pew next to dozens of believers and have never felt more alone in your life?

The Christian community has often responded to loneliness with a Band-Aid solution: “Just serve more.”

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Where Is God When Life Piles On?

When I was a child, my family played a game called "Don't Tip the Waiter." A cardboard waiter, balanced on a swinging base, held a tray over his head. We took turns piling tiny cardboard food tokens onto the tray. The goal was to add one more without sending the whole thing crashing to the floor. There was a pork chop token, a pie token, and I think a very questionable cardboard fish. Someone always groaned, someone always gloated, and someone always had to crawl under the table to find the pie.

It was great fun until recently when I became the waiter. Now, not so much!

For the past couple of months, life has been handing me tokens. Here's an obligation. Have a little sickness. This circumstance is for you, and here's a second helping of the same one. I have watched that tray pile up and thought, Well, this is it. Somebody call the cleanup crew. Yet here I am, still upright.

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Choked by the Yoke

All my life, I've been a tortoise.

I'm slow. When I do something, I do it carefully, methodically, and with extreme attention to detail. I'm not fast at anything, and I never have been. In middle school, I earned the nickname "Dead Stop." A teacher gave me that one. (Nothing says "bless your heart" like a faculty-approved nickname.)

But a strange thing happens when my schedule fills up and the demands start stacking like dirty dishes. Suddenly, I think I'm a hare. My body is still a tortoise, and my mindset is still slow and steady. Yet I feel I must zip around like the Road Runner, because surely that's the only way everything will get done. Beep beep!

On those mornings, my prayer goes something like this:

"Lord, I have so much to do today, but I know I don't have to do it alone. You are my strength. My times are in Your hands.

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Overwhelmed and Out of Strength? How to Turn Pity into Praise

"LORD, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah." (Psalm 3:1-2)

David wrote Psalm 3 while running for his life from his own son. Absalom had stolen the hearts of the people and then the kingdom itself. David was terrified, heartbroken, and worn thin. When he spoke those first two verses, I think he meant more than the people against him. I believe he also meant his emotions, his circumstances, and the weight of everyone who had fled with him and now needed him to hold it together.

I can't say I understand being betrayed like that. But I understand the pile-on that followed. Here's a peek at what has “troubled me” and "risen up against me" lately:

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Dana Rongione Dana Rongione

Can You Really Laugh When Your Day Falls Apart?

Some mornings announce themselves early. Within minutes of crawling out of bed, I knew it was going to be one of those days. It was the kind of morning when you think about pulling the covers back over your head and trying again tomorrow.

Instead, I stumbled into the kitchen to wrangle breakfast. I juggled bacon, dishes, and a dozen little tasks. Then I grabbed the milk from the fridge. It's the kind that needs a good shake, so I shook it vigorously, like a maraca at a fiesta.

You see where this is going, right? 

Did I check the cap before my little fiesta dance? 

No. No, I did not.

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