When You’ve Done Everything Right and Still Feel Like You Failed
I stared into the bathroom mirror and asked myself a very important question: How many people out there can tell I'm faking it?
Not exactly the inspirational pre-event pep talk I was hoping for.
I had done everything right. Really, I had. I'd lined up another speaker to carry most of the load. I'd purchased the decorations and gifts weeks in advance. I'd even managed to say "no," which, if you know me, is practically an Olympic sport, to several things threatening to crowd my calendar. When the back tweak hit, I rested. When the newsletter deadline loomed, I pushed it back without guilt. When the company arrived, I graciously excused myself when needed.
I had managed my time, my energy, and my expectations. I was practically a wellness guru.
And yet, there I stood, more tired than when the week began, staring at a reflection that told the whole unvarnished truth.
When Success Looks Like Failure
This week, I read about a man in ministry who dedicated his entire lifetime to his mission field. He did everything God asked of him and preached with passion and conviction. Day after day, year after year, he faithfully delivered God's message.
However, after a lifetime of service, this devoted minister had no converts to show for his efforts. Not one soul saved. Not a single person who repented of their sins and accepted the message he preached.
Many would look at this man and shake their heads in pity or, worse, ridicule. Armchair critics would be quick to make assessments:
"Perhaps he didn't preach hard enough."
"Maybe his heart wasn't right with God."
"He probably used the wrong outreach methods."
"His theology must have been flawed."
After all, if he had been doing things correctly, surely someone would have responded!
The Miracle in the Message
I don't know about you, but I've always had a flair for the dramatic. When I imagine Bible stories, I picture grand moments with heavenly spotlights and perhaps some holy background music. So when I read about Naaman, the mighty Syrian commander with leprosy, I can't help but smile at his reaction to God's healing plan.
For those who may not be as familiar with the story, let me give you a brief overview. Naaman arrives at Elisha's house with horses, chariots, and likely an entourage befitting a military commander. He expects a spectacle, a dramatic ritual with the prophet waving his hands over his diseased skin while calling down fire from heaven.
Instead, Elisha doesn't even come to the door! He sends a messenger with simple instructions: "Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean" (2 Kings 5:10).
When Prayer Disappoints
"No, I don't believe in God, and if there is one, I don't want anything to do with Him."
The words were spoken with such anger that I paused before responding, but I couldn't ignore the urging from the Holy Spirit.
"May I ask why?" I inquired.
"Because I prayed just like I was taught, but God didn't answer. He didn't give me what I asked for. So either there isn't a God, or He's just not reliable."
My heart sank. This was not the first time I'd heard this reasoning for doubting God and His goodness. Since arriving in Wales, I've encountered this view repeatedly. How does the concept of prayer become so misconstrued? Where do people get the idea that God is merely a genie in a bottle, waiting to grant their every request? Sadly, it often starts in our pulpits.
When You’re Disappointed With Yourself
I had big plans for this week. This was the week I was going to catch up on a bit of rest, reset my house from the previous events, and focus a bit on my writing projects. Yep, it was going to be a glorious, productive week.
But, now the week is halfway through, and I'm confused about my lack of accomplishments. Sure, I've done a bit of housework and spent a bit of time on a single writing project. But where did the rest of the time go? Why hasn't more been done? What have I been doing all week? Good grief!
We've all had those days (or weeks) when our best intentions seem to crumble like a poorly constructed house of cards. We tell ourselves we'll do better, be better, but then life happens, and we find ourselves falling short…again.